The Struggles of Love
by wolfrider03
Summary: HikaAki slash. Hikaru and Akria have been a couple for a year. They have a happy relationship, but what happens when Hikaru is driven toward finding something more for his life? crappy summary. rated M for later chapters. temporary title


"C'mon Hikaru!" Akira exclaimed, pacing around the room. "Hurry up before we're late!"

Hikaru, who had been in their room getting ready, came out hopping on one foot trying to put his sock on. "Aww, c'mon Akira. It's not like they would get mad at us if we were a teensy bit late."

"Well, still hurry please,"

"Yeah, I'm ready," Hikaru said. He kissed Akira on the cheek. "Let's go."

The pair walked out of their flat and down the street to the coffeehouse on the corner. They were to meet Waya and Isumi there.

When they spotted Waya and Isumi on the far left table in the back they waved and made their way to them.

"Hey guys," Waya said. Isumi greeted them in the same way.

A waiter came up to their table and asked if he could get them anything.

"Nothing for me, thanks," said Akira.

"I'll have a mocha frappuccino," Hikaru told the waiter.

"What have y'all been up to?" Isumi asked.

"Not much," answered Akira. "Hikaru insists on going to the internet café all the time to play Go on the internet so we've been doing that a lot."

The waiter came back with Hikaru's drink. Hikaru took a sip before saying, "But you've got to admit, Akira, you have fun."

"Yes, I do,"

"And so do I!" exclaimed Sai. "When you let me play."

"You played yesterday so don't tell me I never let you play!" Hikaru told him.

"Anything new with you guys?" Akira asked Waya and Isumi.

"Isumi's out with Akane all the time!" Waya said.

"That's not true!" Isumi defended himself. "We haven't gone anywhere in a while…"

"Well it gets really annoying after hearing 'Isumi's the most wonderful guy on the planet' a hundred times."

Isumi blushed. He sipped at his coffee as he stared out the window. Akane hadn't called him in a while. He hoped everything was ok with her.

Akira stealthily took Hikaru's frappuccino and took a long drink.

"Hey!" Hikaru exclaimed, ripping the cup out of his hand. "If you wanted some then you should have asked the guy when he was over here!"

"Well so-ory for upsetting you. I don't know why you wouldn't want to share with your own boyfriend!" Akira countered. He stuck his tongue out at Hikaru.

Waya laughed. "I know I've said this before, but you guys make the cutest couple."

"Sometimes," Akira pouted, pretending to still be mad at Hikaru.

Hikaru cuddled up to Akira. "You know you love me."

"No, I don't," Akira turned around, almost making Hikaru fall out of his chair.

"Fine then," Hikaru said. He turned opposite of Akira and folded his arms on his chest. "Be that way. See if I care."

Before long, the two of them were in each others arms.

Akira loved Hikaru with all his heart. They had been dating for almost a year now. However, no matter how much Akira loved Hikaru's presence in his life, he was still having a bit of trouble getting used to the fact that they were together. It had gotten better over the past few months, though, so Akira was more confident in their relationship. He remembered vividly the day he found his feelings for him. Hikaru made was the one to make the first move. At first Akira wasn't comfortable with it, but after much thought, he realized how important he was to him.

--Flashback--

Hikaru stood in front of the board. Akira was playing a game against one of the new pros. He remembered the first time _he_ played Akira Touya as a new pro. Hikaru surveyed Akira's body language. Even when his opponent did not stand a chance against him, he was determined. Hikaru couldn't help but think how cute Akira was when he played Go. He was surprised by his sudden realization. To think that it _was_ Akira all along! He had to know if Akira felt the same way. He doubted it, but there was still a slight chance that he might.

Soon the new pro resigned. Akira thanked him for the game and made his way to the break room. Hikaru followed him in and closed the door behind him.

Akira poured himself some tea and looked up at Hikaru. He sensed Hikaru was anxious about something. He was looking at him with such intensity. Akira wondered what was wrong with Hikaru and asked him.

Hikaru did not respond. He did not know how to express his feelings to Akira. He wasn't sure how he would take it. But there was no sense in just standing there. Hikaru slowly made his way to Akira.

"Look, if you have something to say, then say it already," Akira told him as he put down his empty cup. "I have to get home."

Hikaru hesitated before saying, "I don't exactly know how to put this. When I saw you play today I realized something about you…something about myself. For a while now I thought it might be a possibility. I didn't know for sure. But now, after watching you play today, I'm sure of it." He moved closer an inch.

"What are you talking about?"

"Out of all the people in Tokyo, it's you," Hikaru went on. "It's my own rival! But now that I've realized this I don't want to be rivals. Not anymore."

"What are you getting at?"

"Akira, I think I'm in love with you," Hikaru confessed. He backed Akira into the wall, his hands on his waist. Akira was taken aback. Slowly, Hikaru leaned in and pressed his lips against Akira's.

"Hikaru!" Sai exclaimed, but Hikaru ignored him. He pressed harder against Akira, completely unaware of his flailing arms.

Akira pushed Hikaru off him. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "What's wrong with you?!"

Hikaru was afraid this would happen. He tried moving closer to Akira to calm him down, only to be pushed away. "Akira, please,"

Sai looked nervously from Hikaru to Akira. He figured Hikaru's feelings for Akira had softened, but he never imagined they had softened this much. "Hikaru, please listen to me-"

"Sai, stay out of this. I can handle this on my own," Hikaru told him

Akira made a move for the door, but was caught by Hikaru. "Let me go!"

"Please, Akira," Hikaru pleaded. "Can't we talk about this?"

"I'm not gay!" Akira pushed past Hikaru and left the room. His heart was pounding and his whole body was shaking. He had no idea Hikaru felt that way about him! They had been spending more time together over the past few months since Hikaru became a pro. The more Akira thought about it, the more he realized how much Hikaru's attitude toward him had changed.

His words to Hikaru were still ringing in his ears. 'I'm not gay!' he had told him. But if he was not, then why did he feel this sudden need to rush back into Hikaru's arms? Why did he suddenly wish he had not rejected his advances? What was happening to him? He continued questioning his newfound feelings and emotions when he walked into his house. His father had dinner ready for them.

"Did you have a good game?" Touya Meijin asked his son.

"Yes, it was fine," Akira mumbled. He sat across the table from his father and ate his meal without saying much.

As Akira layed out his bed in the middle of the floor that night, his head swarmed with the events of the day. He could still feel Hikaru's arms around him. He could still taste his kiss. Akira found himself wanting more of Hikaru. No. It wasn't right. Was it? Were they destined to be together all along? Akira slept an uneasy sleep. He woke up that morning with his mind made up.

After having a bit of breakfast, Akira started his journey to Hikaru's house. He had to talk to him. He hoped he wouldn't be upset or depressed after the previous day's episode. When Akira arrived at Hikaru's house, he hesitated before knocking. Hikaru's mother answered the door and told him Hikaru was up in his room.

Akira slowly made his way up the stairs. He found Hikaru sitting in front of a Go board, presumably trying to play a game against himself.

Hikaru was surprised to see Akira standing in his doorway. "Akira…"

"Let me do the talking this time," Akira said. He sat on the other side of the Go board. "What happened yesterday made me think…a lot. Truthfully, it's been torture. I didn't want to believe it at first. I've been so jealous of you since that first time I played you. I thought of us as rivals. But after yesterday, all of that has changed. I don't understand what is happening to me, but I do know one thing. I'm falling in love with you, Hikaru Shindou."

Hikaru dropped the stone he had in his hand and it clattered to the floor. Sai moved to pick it up, but remembered he could not. For what seemed like ages, Hikaru and Akira sat there staring at each other. After a few moments, Akira moved the Go board aside and placed himself in front of Hikaru. With his hands on the floor on either side of him, he bent forward until his lips touched Hikaru's mouth. He closed his eyes tight, knowing he did right my coming here. Hikaru brought his hand up to Akira's cheek and kissed him back. Akira relaxed his body. He felt at ease with Hikaru. He never wanted to let him go.

--End Flashback--

A crash on the opposite side of the coffeehouse brought Akira back to reality. He looked around and saw a body sprawled out on the floor. A girl yelled "Baka!" before storming out the door.

"Jin," Waya, Isumi, Akira, and Hikaru said in unison. The boy on the floor got up and dusted himself off. He made his way to their table.

"Hey guys!" Jin said as he pulled up a chair next to Isumi. "Whoa, that girl sure can pack a punch!" He rubbed his head tenderly.

"What girl did you hit on this time?" Waya asked him.

"She whacked me before I could get her name," Jin answered sadly. "It's too bad. She's pretty."

"You say the same thing about every girl you see!" Hikaru said.

"Not _every_ one!"

"Akane punched you when you tried hitting on her," Isumi pointed out. "You said she was pretty."

"And a pretty little thing she is,"

"Watch it!" Isumi warned.

"So what are kids up to today?" Jin asked them. "More Go-playing I assume."

"For us, yes," Hikaru said, indicating himself and Akira.

Isumi scooted his chair over to give Jin more room. "I haven't played in a while. Maybe I'll join you guys today. Akane and I played last week."

Waya rolled his eyes. "Do you always have to talk about her? We already know she's your girlfriend."

"You're just jealous 'cuz I've got a woman and you don't," Isumi retorted.

"You and I both, Waya," said Jin. "One of these days I'll take you out for a night in the town. I'll teach you everything I know about getting women."

"I'll be a short lesson, Waya, considering he doesn't know much in that area," Hikaru said, which generated laughs from everybody except Jin.

After conversing a while longer, the group left the coffeehouse and walked down the street.

"Any of you guys wanna play a game of Shogi?" Jin asked, knowing that would get them mad. He got evil glares from everybody. He waved his hands in front of him and said, "Just kidding, guys. Just kidding. I know how much y'all love Go."

They passed by a Go Salon. Sai looked at it longingly. "Will we play today, Hikaru?"

"I dunno. Maybe. If we have time," Hikaru told him. When Sai started groaning, Hikaru laughed. "Of course we'll play today!"

"Yay!" Sai exclaimed, jumping up and down. "I made a song about Go. Want to hear it?"

"Sure," Hikaru told him, not knowing what to expect.

Sai cleared his throat and sang, "Go is the most wonderful game of all time. I love the way the stones feel in my hand. The way it sounds when the stones touch the board makes my heart skip a beat. The smell of the board reminds me of the beautiful trees they come from. I love Go!"

Hikaru burst out laughing. Isumi, Waya, Akira, and Jin looked around at him in surprise. Hikaru stopped abruptly and said, "Sorry." He pulled Akira back and told him, "Sai made a song about Go. I'll have to tell you about it later."

The group stopped at a sushi bar, a doing of Jin. He was craving ramen. They sat at the counter, and Jin ordered ramen for everybody.

As they talked and ate their ramen, a girl came up behind Isumi and put her hands over his eyes.

"Who are you?" Isumi asked, but all the girl did was giggle. "Akane?"

Akane took her hands off his eyes as he turned around to face her. "Isumi!"

"Akane!" Isumi hugged her like there was no tomorrow.

"Sorry I haven't called you in a while," Akane told him as she sat down next to him. "I've been a bit sick."

"Well, I'm just glad your better now," Isumi said, handing her a bowl of ramen. She immediately dug into the food.

Akira and Hikaru were deep in conversation about their plans for dinner that night. Hikaru wanted to try his hand in the kitchen again, but Akira protested. He thought it would be safer to eat out somewhere.

"Remember what happened the last time you tried cooking?" Akira asked Hikaru. "I spent the next two days cleaning up the whole apartment!"

"That wasn't my fault!" Hikaru exclaimed. "Besides, I'm better at it now."

"Sure you are,"

"I am!"

"No, you're not," Waya interjected. "Wait, what are we talking about?"

"Hikaru wants to make dinner again," Akira told him.

Waya finished off his ramen and set the bowl down. "You told me that story. Hikaru made a huge mess-"

"It wasn't my fault!" Hikaru said again.

Waya laughed at him. "Maybe you should take some classes or something."

"That would be good," Akira said. "You could cook all the time. And it'll get you out of the house so I can have some peace for a while." Hikaru glared at him for this comment.

"I think you're the better cook, Akira," Waya told him.  
"Hey!" exclaimed Hikaru.

"Sorry, Shindou, but it's the truth,"

"Why don't I cook tonight," Akira proposed. "You can help me."

"Am I invited?" Waya asked.

Akira blushed. "It's going to be a romantic dinner for two, not three."

"Romantic dinner?" Hikaru repeated. "Akira's being romantic?"

"What? I can't be romantic for my boyfriend?" he asked him.

"No, no," Hikaru said. "It's just, you've never really exactly shown interest in being romantic with me."

"Well, maybe I've decided to change that," Akira said seductively.

Isumi and Akane stood behind them as they conversed. "Sorry to interrupt, but Akane and I are going to the pachinko parlour. Does anybody want to come with us?"

"I'll come!" Jin said immediately, not wanting to miss an opportunity to meet girls. He leapt out of his seat and stood next to Akane. "Come, Waya. Maybe I'll get you a girl."

"What if I don't want one?" Waya asked. It did sound fun, but he did not want Jin to know that.

Akane said, "If Jin is with us, I doubt _any_ girls will come up to us. Unless you want them to, and we can always tie him up and leave him somewhere…"

Isumi pulled Waya out of his chair. "Let's go. It'll be good for you."

The four of them went out the door, leaving Hikaru and Akira alone. Once the pair finished their ramen, they left the bar and walked down the street.

"What do you want to do now?" Hikaru asked. "Wanna catch up with the others?"

"No, not really," Akira said to Hikaru's surprise. "I think we should do something together. Just the two of us." He took Hikaru's hand in his as they crossed the street. Being alone with Hikaru made him feel wonderful.

Hikaru was surprised at Akira's sudden interest in taking a more active role in their relationship. Usually it was Hikaru who initiated the intimacy. He was pleased with Akira's sudden enthusiasm. He loved him more than ever now.  
They passed by a shop that had a yellow flyer taped to the window. It was an announcement for a festival that was to begin the next day and last throughout the weekend.

"We _must_ go!" Hikaru exclaimed, pulling on Akira's arm. "It'll be so much fun! Let's go, Akira! Please?"

Akira looked at the flyer. It did seem like fun. Besides that, he would not have to cook or worry about Hikaru cooking if they went that whole weekend. "Yeah, sure. We'll go."

Hikaru jumped up and down enthusiastically. He kissed Akira. "I love you so much!"

They continued down the street. When they got to the pachinko parlour, Akira decided they should join their friends. For a few hours, they played pachinko. Jin spent most of his time roaming around looking for girls. He dragged Waya on some of his journeys, much to Waya's dislike. Isumi and Akane shared the same machine, switching off every couple of turns. Akira watched as Hikaru played his luck. Occasionally he let him play, but Akira was more interested in planning their night. He wanted it to be perfect. After a while, he and Hikaru left for the market. Akira needed to buy some food and spices for their dinner.

"Why won't you tell me what you are making?" Hikaru asked. He examined a salmon that one of the vendors had on the table.

"Because I want it to be a surprise," Akira told him.

Akira walked through the open market gathering the supplies he would need to prepare their meal. Hikaru tagged along behind him, poking and prodding every fish he saw. Akira constantly scolded him, but it did no good. Hikaru continued to play with the food they passed by. He was nearly bitten when he stuck his hand in a pot of live crabs.

"You act like such a child sometimes!" Akira exclaimed as he pulled Hikaru away from the pot. While Hikaru busied himself with examining the containment in a jar, Akira took two bottles of sake from the liquor vendor. He knew Hikaru loved sake, and he wanted it to be a surprise.

Finally Akira had all the necessary ingredients he needed, and they made their way back to their apartment, laden with bags of food. As soon as they walked in the door, Akira set about getting stuff ready in the kitchen. When he had all the ingredients in front of him, he called Hikaru to him.

"We'll start with the sashimi," Akira said, pointing to the yellowtail. He showed Hikaru how to slice it, then let him have a go. Hikaru caught on quickly. While Hikaru cut away at the fish, Akira got all the ingredients together for the main course. He put rice to be steamed in a pot and set it on the stove. He just finished cutting the ginger and onions when Hikaru finished.

"So what's the main course?" Hikaru asked curiously. He poked at the flounder on the counter, but got slapped for it by Akira.

"Nizakana," he informed him. He took out a pan and put it on the stove. "Put the brown sugar, mirin, and soy sauce in the pan. Tell me when the sugar is completely melted."

While Hikaru tended to the sauce, Akira made miso soup.

"Ok, it's done," Hikaru said shortly.

Akira put the ginger in the pan and followed it with the flounder. Once the fish was cooked, Hikaru added the onions on top. They took two plates and put one fish on each. Hikaru evenly distributed the rice and miso soup between the two of them. They set their plates down on the table, and Akira put the sashimi in the middle of the table.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" Akira exclaimed. He jumped up and went to the kitchen. He took out two cups and the sake. He poured an even amount of the sake into each cup and gave one to Hikaru.

Hikaru smiled. "You know how much I love sake."

The pair ate their dinner and talked about a range of topics. Both were excited about the festival that weekend. They began to plan out what they would do and what games they would play first. Hikaru bet that he could catch more fish that Akira could. Akira eagerly took on this bet.

Once they finished their meal, Akira took the bag of wafers from the cupboard, poured some soy sauce in a bowl, and sat down on the couch next to Hikaru. "For dessert, sosu senbei."

"You are too good to me," Hikaru said, taking a wafer and dipping it in the sauce.

"I love you so much, Hikaru," Akira whispered in his ear. He kissed his neck, making his shudder. He loved having this power over Hikaru. He did not know why he had not taken advantage of it more often. That would definitely be changing.

Hikaru fed a soy sauce-soaked wafer to Akira. "But, you know, I love you more."

"That's not possible. I love you more than anything in the world,"

"I love you more than anything in the galaxy,"

"I love you more than anything in the universe,"

"I love you more than anything in…the…the…" Hikaru stumbled. He laughed at himself, Akira laughing along with him. "Well, I still love you more."

"Do you love me enough to help me with the dishes?" Akira asked him, getting up form the couch.

"Ok, maybe not that much," Hikaru said. He got up and followed his lover to the kitchen. While Akira filled the sink with soap and water, he cleaned off the plates and pans. He dropped them into the sink, causing bubbles of soap to hit Akira in the face.

"Hey!" Akira exclaimed. He took a handful of bubbles and threw them at Hikaru.

"Oh, it's on!" Hikaru stuck both his hands in the sink and rubbed the bubbles on Akira's shirt. He smirked when Akira gaped at him.

"You're gonna get it for that!" Akira menacingly said. He took the sink hose and sprayed his boyfriend full in the face with water. He ducked when Hikaru tried to hit him.

Hikaru chased Akira around the house. When he finally caught him, he slammed him into the wall and kissed him hard. His hands roamed freely across Akira's body. Akira's arms stayed wrapped around his neck. Hikaru traced Akira's lips with his tongue. Akira caught his tongue between his teeth and sucked on it gently. Hikaru's hands dropped to his waist. He managed to get Akira's pants unbuttoned before he stopped him.

"That can wait," Akira said. "The dishes can't."

"The dishes can do themselves," Hikaru told him, still holding on to him. He grinned mischievously and said, "I wanna do you." Before he could make another move, Akira got out of his grip. Despite Hikaru's protests, Akira proceeded to wash dishes. Hikaru finally gave up trying to seduce his boyfriend and helped him with the dishes, as promised. They went to bed that night curled up in each other's arms.

The next day, as the couple was eating breakfast, there was a knock on the door. It was Waya.

"Akane's across the hall at Isumi's place. They'll be over shortly," he said. He sat down at the table and stole a piece of Hikaru's bread.

Akira sat back down and finished his breakfast. "She's been spending a lot of time over there lately. Do you think she'll move in with him?"

"I dunno," Waya replied, his mouth full of bread. "I'm not sure if it's that serious. They haven't been together that long."

"They've been together longer than me and Akira," Hikaru said, "and we're living together."

Waya sat back with his hands behind his head. "I should move out soon. I need to get out and get my own place. I'm almost 16, you know. I'm so jealous of you guys. You are younger than me, and you've got your own place. It's not fair."

"There's a vacant room in the floor below us. You can move there. Then we'll all be together," Akira said.

"I dunno if I have enough money for that…" Waya trailed off.

Before long, Isumi and Akane joined their party. The group made their way to a Go salon. They were to play Go a bit before the festival started.

"I don't need a handicap!" Waya yelled when Akira asked him to put down three stones.

"Suit yourself," Akira told him. He placed one of his stones on the upper left starpoint to start the game.

"I don't need your commentary," Waya snapped when Akira told him a better move he could have made. He was very frustrated because of how the game was going. He was 12 points behind, and Akira was not making it any easier for him by correcting him. "Just because you're a 3-dan doesn't mean you can tell me how to play."

"If you let me help you, then maybe one day you'll be a 3-dan, too," said Akira.

Hikaru nodded. "Maybe you should take lessons from him."

"I'm not taking lessons from Touya!" exclaimed Waya, slamming a stone down on the board.

Not wanting to upset Waya more, Hikaru dropped the subject. After another hour, the game was over. Waya could not make anymore moves, and neither could Akira.

"I win by 20 points," Akira announced after counting up his territory. Waya groaned.

"Another win for my sweetheart," Hikaru said, hugging Akira.

"You guys make me sick," Waya said, pretending to gag.

"You need a girl, Waya," Hikaru said. "Then you'll be the same way."

The group left the Go salon and made their way downtown to the festival. Bright red, green, and orange lanterns hung from wires meticulously zig-zagging all the way down the street. Children ran around chasing each other with sparklers in one hand and yakitori in the other. People filled the street laughing, eating, and playing games. The aroma of several delicious kinds of food wafted around them, making their mouths water. It seemed that food vendors outnumbered the games booths. There were so many kinds of food, from yakitori and ikayaki to taiyaki. The sushi bar they had gone to the day before was buzzing with people. Every second people walked in and out of the bar.

Waya rushed to a man who was selling taiyaki. He bought two and ate one immediately. He followed his friends down the street.

"Look!" Akira exclaimed. "Goldfish!" He pulled Hikaru towards the booth. Waya, Isumi, and Akane followed behind them.

"Dangit, there's a line," Hikaru said, disappointed. He really wanted to beat Akira at the game.

"I guess our competition will have to wait a bit," said Akira, putting a hand on his shoulder. He was holding taiyaki with his other hand. Hikaru guessed he had stolen it from Waya.


End file.
